Dear Luv Doc,
Help! I’ve been set up! About a month ago my roommate and her boyfriend badgered me into going out on a date with her boyfriend’s best friend. The date went OK, but I came away from it thinking I could take or leave the guy. Then they talked me into going to a Todd Snider show as a group. We all had fun, but I didn’t have much interaction with my “date.” Then they talked me into going on another date. That one turned out to be a real dud. He just wasn’t that interesting and I realized that we aren’t compatible. BUT, my roommate and her boyfriend have been constantly asking me what I think of this guy and when we are going to go out again. I just can’t, but I also don’t want to hurt their feelings because they clearly love this guy. What to do? What to do?
There has to be an old episode of Seinfeld that covers this scenario but I am too lazy to do the research. Probably George Costanza ends up telling everyone he is gay to get out of dating some girl and it ends up backfiring. Or maybe it was Ross on Friends or that milquetoast architect guy on How I Met Your Mother. Regardless, this trope is nearly Shakespearean. When something is Shakespearean, you know it’s been around a long, long time. After all, Shakespeare pillaged from the Greeks who were pretty decent pillagers in their own rights. They weren’t bad at oil wrestling either, but I will try to stay focused on the issue at hand.
The good news is that you’re not the first person in history to fall victim to the good intentions of others. For you it was a nice guy who wasn’t very bright. For Native Americans it was smallpox blankets. “Thanks paleface, next time we’ll just take our chances with the buffalo robes.” While it’s true that Lenny doesn’t intentionally kill the puppy and break Curley’s wife’s neck at the end of “Of Mice and Men,” that doesn’t make it any better for Curley’s wife … or the puppy … or George, who makes the executive decision to euthanize his best friend.
No, the road to hell is paved with good intentions and you – quite wisely might I say – are looking for an easy exit ramp. There isn’t one. You need to hop the median and make a hard U. OK, I think I have completely emptied my bag of metaphors (oops, there went another), so here’s your penance: For the sin of allowing your roommate and her boyfriend to bully you into a bad situation, you must now tell them that while you sincerely wanted it to work out, it just didn’t.Tell them maybe you were meant to date a complicated genius with a neck tattoo. Blame it on your parents or soy milk or whatever, just let them know in no uncertain terms that he’s not the one and that you need to move on to the next twenty or so losers until you finally get it right.